Saturday, March 7, 2020
Besides all the other issues raised about women and their empowerment on the occasion of International Women’s Day, their sexual health is one of the most pertinent. Incidentally, March is also touted as the “Sexual Pleasure Month” by American Sexual Health Association. With lots of brouhaha over Sex Education in recent years, the stigma around Sexuality still remains deep-rooted in our society. In the wake of rampant sexual crimes against women in our country, we are justified in preaching caution to our little girls but we really have no idea as to how to do it. If our message for caution goes wrong we may end up scarring her for life. Most Indian females have had these lessons which echo in their minds and never let them come out of their shadow to experience and enjoy their own sexuality. I myself was taught by seniors in my family at a tender age that “You should not trust men” “All they want from a woman is her body” “Keep yourself covered in layers as they might be watching you with their X-ray eyes”.With these and many such lessons we grow up and get into relationships with prejudice against men in general and sex in particular. Most Indian women are not able to enjoy sex even in their marriages because of this learned repulsion. Being called “sexy” is not a compliment but a derogatory remark. And of course, we never use the same remark for men ever! Did anyone teach us that “Sex is healthy”? Or that “Sex gives us pleasure”? Or that “Sex is beneficial for our mental and physical health”? Or that “A wife can also ask for sex, it doesn’t always have to be initiated by the husband?” Or that “Having Sex relieves stress?” Or that “We are entitled to our own bodies?” Or that “We can talk openly about our own sexual requirements with our male partners?”. I had a newly wedded couple for Counseling a few weeks ago. The girl said, “if he loves me he is supposed to know what I will like and what I will not?”. Nobody can read our minds. It’s okay to talk to him about what you like and what you don’t. Trust men for once and give them a chance to know you better. They are also learning to come out of stereotypes. And I have seen an equal number of men as nervous as women are. Sex is after all the language of the soul. Let’s listen to speak it. The Divine Dance is not possible without our efforts to be real and intimate in a relationship truly. Let’s accept ourselves along with our Sexuality and become truly empowered Women!